Jesus Works At McDonalds

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Title     Jesus Works At McDonalds
Artist     alanmarkley/Alan (35) Send mail to this user
Portfolio     Afflack
Subject     Religion/Spirituality
Style     3D
Medium     Airbrush
Software     Corel Bryce
Curious Labs Poser
Submitted     March 14, 2003 9:53:40 PM CST
Views     4,727
Rating     5 Thumb-up

Just when you thought Hollywood would never stop recycling itself, Martin Scorcese agrees to direct a hopeful apocalyptic masterpiece. Of course I'm talking about the upcoming movie, Jesus Works At McDonalds. I'm not your average critic so let's just say that the mass media has to be perplexed. The fact that Scorcese has a hold of another Jesus script definitely gives the poor huddled masses a huge, "Screw You!" The movie trailer of Jesus Works at McDonalds stunned audiences last week as they thought they were just watching another piss poor McDonalds advertisement before the previews began. Then they see Christ standing behind the counter asking, "Would you like to super-size your faith today?" The funny thing about this whole hype is everyone thinks this is going to be a comedy. Little do they know that this is going to be a serious movie. A lot of christian scientists, including the notorious Carl Forkenwait and the quick witted Thad Dipple, have been prediciting that the second coming will happen where most Americans park their ass every single day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Jack M. Greenberg, Chairman and CEO of McDonalds corporation says that this film might help make their quarterly earnings exceed last year's fourth quarter's dissapointment. When I asked him last week about his thoughts on this project, he said, "This movie looks like it won't be a threat to our franchise. The fact that the innocent figure of the son of God is our employee is an indicator that salvation can bring our quarterly earnings up. Jesus already does work at McDonalds. He works inside all of the hearts of every McDonalds employee across the globe. And when this film comes out, people can stop in and get a McJesus Lamb Burger. They can experience the last supper once again. This time with an extra value meal." Personally, I smell an Oscar. If Jesus shows up on Oscar night, that'll be two miracles in one. However, I should keep my expectations in check because things are alreadylooking nice for this movie. Finally, a pure original film is going to be shown in the post post modern world. Why not? It's about fucking time Hollywood does a movie that isn't crappy!


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Non-conforming thumb-down Non-conforming thumb-down Non-conforming thumb-down    from themurph/Jason (0) Send mail to this user on July 22, 2009 1:34:54 AM CDT



Non-conforming thumb-down    from anamarialeal/Anamaría (0) Send mail to this user on September 28, 2006 5:38:59 PM CDT

Unispired and uninteresting


Thumb-up Thumb-up    from latebloomr13/Tamiko (234) Send mail to this user on June 15, 2004 6:00:50 PM CDT (4)

In my honest opinion I don't find this at all offensive, nor can I see why it would strike some as that. Personally, I think that Jesus looks very normal and real, as I've always tried to envision Him. In any case, the artwork itself seems to allow the viewer to decide what individual characteristics apply and that's what makes it so great. Although perhaps that's where the misunderstanding begins? I think it's fun to visualize Jesus, Buddha or any other "higher power" in an everyday situation such as this. Very thought-provoking. I find your comments both brave and're living proof that artists can be unafraid when it comes to openly and completely sharing their art with others on this forum. Great job...I truly enjoyed the opportunity to share my point of view.

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Thumb-up Thumb-up Thumb-up    from jarillazoid/Thomas (134) Send mail to this user on July 27, 2003 6:21:17 AM CDT (5)

I'm wondering if anyone can tell me which McDonalds Jesus is working at because i really need to speak with him about some very serious issues. I would also like to know the date this movie is expected to hit the screen as it sounds to be of the highest caliber and i would very much like to see it and if anyone can tell me who will be playing the part of Jesus in this movie as i seem to have missed that during the trailer. I must have had my mind on a Big Mack at the time. I really believe Jack may be carrying things a little far with his McJesus Lamb Burger though. Especially with me and so many others leaning hard toward a vegetarian lifestyle, and we can really do without this added temptation.

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Thumb-down    from fatwildcatstudios/Brandi (493) Send mail to this user on July 15, 2003 1:54:42 PM CDT (8)

I don't give thumbs down but this I couldn't help! I find your joke on our Lord to be offensive! I don't even have the words!

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From pentax93/Dave-id (0) Send mail to this user on July 21, 2003 9:30:19 AM CDT

You mean _YOUR_ lord, stop generalizing.


From deleted30/deleted (4,981) Send mail to this user on August 16, 2003 1:24:56 AM CDT

nope THE


From tomb/Tom (1,095) Send mail to this user on September 2, 2004 5:40:08 PM CDT

Not mine either - stop generalizing. Jeez :) TomB.


Non-conforming thumb-up Non-conforming thumb-up Non-conforming thumb-up    from annamike/Mike (160) Send mail to this user on June 3, 2003 7:46:02 AM CDT

Lets get some fair play in here!! Jesus threw out the money changers out of the temple-lets throw him out of McDonalds. DOWN WITH JESUS!


Non-conforming thumb-down    from norbert/Felzl (4,617) Send mail to this user on May 19, 2003 4:52:40 AM CDT

maybee sarcastic meaned, but its no kind of art a can respect.

and a little to little too.....norbert


Thumb-up Thumb-up    from loki/Russ (612) Send mail to this user on April 29, 2003 2:39:59 PM CDT (7)

Ok I wouldn’t go so far as to say this image is Uninspired and Uninteresting (one thumbs down) because well when I saw the image I started to laugh and well if I’m laughing the image but be interesting in some way. But I can’t say it’s an overall good effort (one thumbs up)

So here is how I see it Art takes many forms and what you wrote is art in the best possible ways. Art should get people to think and some times art gets under peoples skin and offends them.

What you wrote was good very good. Cheers!

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Thumb-up Thumb-up Thumb-up    from dharrison62/David (670) Send mail to this user on April 20, 2003 10:10:59 PM CDT (7)

Thank you, this is a wonderful easter gift. Even though I don't believe in Jesus, I still think if the man existed he should have an opportunity at honest labour. Wonderful colour and compsition. Just don't let anyone crux your chocolate easter bunnies.

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Thumb-down Thumb-down    from hassan/Hassan (1,111) Send mail to this user on April 16, 2003 5:20:52 PM CDT (5)

Sorry , but that's not an ART , Not that I'm Religious or not ,, I find this terribly by all meaning

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Thumb-up Thumb-up Thumb-up    from kimberlina/Kimberlina (57) Send mail to this user on April 10, 2003 11:54:30 AM CDT (7)

Martin is my hero....This work has nothing to do with personal stands alone for what it is. Im still laughing.

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Thumb-up Thumb-up Thumb-up    from spxchrome/Stefan (75) Send mail to this user on March 29, 2003 7:23:24 PM CST (8)

rofl - this cat is a couple of sandwhiches short of a picnic. That story is bizzare and the cash register is turned the wrong way. Looks like he is a customer not an employee. Get your facts straight :/

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Thumb-up    from ied/Erich (413) This user is a Premium Member Send mail to this user on March 29, 2003 3:14:23 PM CST (9)

i find it quite amusing how people react - you got what you want, i´m sure you are smiling; technically your picture is crap, but at least it made me curious enough to read your looong comment (which was not easy, english is not my native language)

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Thumb-down Thumb-down    from francis12/Francis (227) Send mail to this user on March 29, 2003 2:31:07 PM CST (12)

This is really bad as far as being able to call it art. The commets have a few funny items but the image is a little to much cut and paste. The food in the front does look like flowers when you first look at it. The bright yellow in the background really make you look a this but then there is not much to really look at once you do open it up to full size, which is also a problem. The image size is way to small for any real detail. The black blob on the left really pulls your eye away once you can get away from the yellow. I'm not going to get into the other problems that have been stated already.

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Thumb-down Thumb-down Thumb-down    from lisamarie/Lisa-Marie (176) Send mail to this user on March 26, 2003 12:09:19 AM CST (11)

I find this terribly offensive. Not to mention that there are so many things wrong with this picture I Cant even begin to name them all. Its out of focus, and the composition in a whole is not put together well...the colors are aweful. It looks like no time was put into this. Im sorry, but you can do better than make fun of religious figures and make racist jokes (your hitler piece) Try making a composition that is worth looking at, one that you put time into.

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Thumb-down Thumb-down    from paul1/Paul (54) Send mail to this user on March 17, 2003 6:40:53 PM CST (12)

This almost got a 3TD but it's has some redeeming factors in the comments. I don't think the image is very well done. the images is to small and looks cut out and pasted. The other stuff that is wrong has been stated, I don't think I can add much in comments other than I think that this borders on being offensive. Oh no stated the hard black shadow on the left hand side should go too.

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Non-conforming thumb-up    from jccrawford/JC (2,038) Send mail to this user on March 15, 2003 10:53:34 AM CST

It's not intended to be good. Geeeeez.

The death of humor...


From gramlin/Gram (165) Send mail to this user on August 26, 2003 6:30:06 PM CDT

or not... whichever way you look at it.


Thumb-down    from savialeigh/Rikki (3,698) Send mail to this user on March 14, 2003 11:05:32 PM CST (17)

This really is very badly done, which is a shame, since the whole purpose of the picture seems to be to illustrate the highly amusing spoof below it. Paragraph breaks would help the 'comments' immensely.

Get the image in focus, hokey is okay, considering the 'story' attached, but the blur and jaggies have got to go. Not to mention, Jesus is on the wrong side of the register, the register itself is hacked at one end, and the flowers are totally out of place.

Most of the impact of your writing is lost because of the image. Definitely worth working on those PS skills, to better draw attention to your humor through the use of the added illustrations.

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From savialeigh/Rikki (3,698) Send mail to this user on March 14, 2003 11:08:30 PM CST

Okay, I just realised the flowers aren't flowers, they are drinks and food? Which indicates how bad the presentation is!


Thumb-down    from artsccraftc/Eugene (141) Send mail to this user on March 14, 2003 10:22:48 PM CST (14)

Not that I'm Religious, and not that I'm Not Religious.

Not knowing what to believe about your comment, for I've not heard about this movie,so the whole concept of this Image, which is poorly done In My Oppion, The file size is too small, the Yellow background is too bright, the Mc Donalds Register is poorly placed, and had i not paid close attention to the title and your comment, the cups and fries, I wouldn't have known what that was in the lower right.

I know Mc Donalds has Red unimroms, so i think the Red visor cap would have contrasted better with the yellow backround, not that it would have helped the background be less distracting really.

but it would have color cordinated better i think, A sharper quality of this may be more appealing, it's a bit out of focus aswell.

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