Selaron


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Work

Title     Selaron
Artist     zoranvedek/Jason (2,010) Send mail to this user
Portfolio     Digital Works
Subject     Documentary
Style     Illustration
Medium     Digital Non-Photographic
Software     Adobe Photoshop
Content advisory     G (general audiences)
Submitted     October 15, 2009 7:51:27 AM CDT
Views     266
Rating     5 Thumb-up

Need some feedback on this one, let me know everything that bothers you, also let me know what you like.....

Thanks,
Jason

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Thumb-up Thumb-up Thumb-up    from majikrose/Cherie (27,214) Send mail to this user on October 16, 2009 8:32:27 PM CDT (2) Early critique

Jason, this is very nicely done digital art composition of the man with the computer on his chest, showing how big his heart is, whilst he is looking towards the white light, as though to tell me that he is a heart patient and on his way to the next realm.

I really like the way you created this with the stepping blocks that are down below the starbursting white light, then the head of the cat, is facing the same direction and then below his feet there seems to be a fish floating by as though this was all created from under the sea, the two skulls with skin on their heads were something I wasn't sure of, however I am sure there is some logic to the overall creation as we all express ourselves this way(or I do at least),

Thank you for sharing,

Keep right on experimenting,

Cherie

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Thumb-up Thumb-up    from robertwallis/Robert (4,012) Send mail to this user on October 15, 2009 8:30:24 PM CDT (2) Early critique

This is an odd one without a doubt. I like the effect of looking at glass reflections as that adds some unusual dimensions to it. The cat-like head looks pretty cool with the stars in the background as catchlights. Not sure what it signifies, but it got a quixotic appeal to it for some reason.

The floating television/computer is a bit ambiguous because of the not so identifiable shape of it. What hurts that part more than anything is the missing 3-D separation it needs to keep from blending into the figure's chest.

The arms on the figure are suffering from what looks like atrophy or just plain funny angles with foreshortening. It's that mismatch between the muscular legs and the smaller proportioned arms and torso that are unsettling. I can accept the unusual facial features, but the darkened eye sockets are bit over the top for me. That could be okay depending on your target audience, but it puts me off.

Overall the work is eye-catching, and looks like the cover of a science-fiction novel. It kind of reminds me of the cover from a Poul Anderson novel, The Mote in God's Eye from about 20 years ago. I would be inclined to invest more time on the figure as the rest of it is pretty decent.

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From zoranvedek/Jason (2,010) Send mail to this user on October 15, 2009 11:17:40 PM CDT

The cumpter/tv thing is actualy a wooden box with a broken heart in it, and he has a black eye.....

It's intended to be an illustration to a song with the following lyrics:

"Shan VdP: If you got no scars to show for your progress, I guess you got lucky/ But with these calloused hands and a box of broken hearts, I’ll be staring at the sun with a black eye, trust me/ If you got no scars to show for your progress, I guess you got lucky/ but with these calloused hands and a box of broken hearts/ I’ll be staring at the sun with a black eye, trust me! Derek D: Brick by brick by brick…/ when the upheaval gets rampant, people abandon ship/ stone by stone by stone…/ in obscurity, you’ll be finding me thanking Selaron,/ step by step by step…/ when it’s easy to cancel, don’t be the believer that been all beat up and can’t stay on/ chin up and channel the beat or bleed on the canvas, it’s either you’re ready to be the cheetah or stand still Shan VdP: If you got no scars to show for your progress, I guess you got lucky/ But with these calloused hands and a box of broken hearts, I’ll be staring at the sun with a black eye, trust me/ If you got no scars to show for your progress, I guess you got lucky/ but with these calloused hands and a box of broken hearts/ I’ll be staring at the sun with a black eye, trust me! Derek D: Brick by brick by brick…/ when the upheaval gets rampant, people abandon ship/ stone by stone by stone…/ in obscurity, you’ll be finding me thanking Selaron,/ step by step by step…/ when it’s easy to cancel, don’t be the believer that been all beat up and can’t stay on/ chin up and channel the beat or bleed on the canvas, it’s either you’re ready to be the cheetah or stand still Shan VdP: Come on in, make yourself at home, lose the halo/ you can place it with the two faces on the table/ we can sit and exchange lies and laugh loudly/ but I’d rather drink my drink/ I already know what you despise about me/ and you still think I’d sink/ with that runner up badge that you boast about often/ I mean you really didn’t win/ now you run amuck mad, pose for the closed coffin/ leave it or you will be in oblivion again/ collect your insecurities and place them in a capsule/ then place that in a black box and aim for the rest/ cause the name of the game is, lets see who can hide that little black box the best/ and I find that you wouldn’t pass the line down for me to climb back/ You would rather watch me drown, and I don’t really mind that/ Derek D: Could I… live with an honest and anonymous involvement in this thing called life? / I think the problem is I think I’ll die/ With the volume at a moderate rate, rape me inaudible/ I’ll drink all night./ You see I’m all about this olly olly oxen free approach, and all behind me is a hobby and the talks of being focused/ only now at leagues of octopus in oceans/ no longer blinded by the night and not a blink gone by"-copyright Magnolius

http://magnolius.bandcamp.com/track/selaron

I got wondering after I posted it wether or not it made sense w/o the actual lyrics backing it up

Thanks,
-J

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From administrator/Robert (151) This user is a Premium Member This user is an Administrator Send mail to this user on October 15, 2009 8:32:25 AM CDT

Please write critiques. You've not been active for a while, so you may have missed some of the posts about writing critiques. Check the Artsig issues forums and the Artsig news to catch up on what's going on. We're trying to get the site back onto a full participation site and want all members to be writing critiques also. Thanks in adavance!

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From zoranvedek/Jason (2,010) Send mail to this user on October 15, 2009 10:08:37 AM CDT

I always comment, in fact if you'll look at my record, I've left far more comments than postings over the last year. Sorry I haven't been around, was working full time as a graphic artist, but am laid off now, so I'll be around for bit, seems I have plenty of free time......

-J

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From administrator/Robert (151) This user is a Premium Member This user is an Administrator Send mail to this user on October 15, 2009 3:53:23 PM CDT

Ouch! Sorry to hear about the lay-off. I've been there and gotten that tattoo a couple of times. It was just a gentle reminder, as opposed to some of the other reminders I've had to leave behind lately. This past summer was sort of the low point for large numbers of posters who wouldn't critique, and it was clogging the site pretty badly. We're working on bringing the community back to where it was at one time. Welcome back, and we look forward to seeing more work and contributions.

Best Regards,
Robert

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